Security Girl

One of the most interesting and scary situations I have gotten my self into while out on my dating exploits was the time I met Karren. This was back right when I first started clubbing. I had just turned 19 and was starting to explore the club life. Going out with friends that lived in my neighbourhood, to a second class club, thinking I was cool.
So I had been a regular at this club for a while and continued to have zero skill at picking up girls. But I liked to drink and dance like an idiot, so I always had fun. But one time a girl approached me (which I now recognize as a warning sign of crazy) and I was absolutely thrilled. We danced all night and left the club together. I walked her home which was right down the street and we exchanged numbers.
She called the next day and we made plans to hang out. We spent all of our time in her apartment, which was far messier than most guys’, fooling around and watching movies. This went on for about 2 weeks until she had something she wanted to talk to me. Karren sat me down and told me that she loved me and wanted to marry me, have children and move in together. Of course me being 19 I was shocked at such a proposal. I told her I was far too young for such a serious relationship. To which Karren told me she was getting older and running out of time, she needed to settle down. I said “You couldn’t be THAT old. Your just getting worked up and ahead of your self.”
But oh no, I was wrong!
“I am 35; I am starting to get old.”
“Thirty five?! Wow…”
I was totally taken by surprise. This woman didn’t look a day over 25. But she was 16 years my senior and looking for a very serious relationship.
As I was grabbing my cloths off the floor I said, “This is really weirding me out. I think I’m going to go now. Please don’t call me again.”
She started crying and begging me to stay but I was so freaked out I just bolted and went back to my neighbour hood to tell my friends about the whole experience. If only the experience ended there.
It first started with phone calls. Karren would call me at least 10 times a day and usually at night when I was trying to sleep. Almost always drunk, and always pleading me to come back. The calls persisted for a few days and then stopped. I was glad it seemed over.
But it wasn’t. Karren then started showing up at my house, when she didn’t know where I lived. Buzzing my door for HOURS on end, crying, and begging me to accept her back. This of course pissed my mom off to no end and after my failed attempts to make her go away my mom lost it, went down stairs and screamed at her to fuck off. She got spooked and left me alone, for a while at least.
The problem I find with stalkers (I have had a few) is that they don’t think like normal people. They feel justified in their threatening and scary actions because they have some twisted belief of love. No matter how much you tell them to go away they usually don’t get the message unless you are very, very, clear with them. Unfortunately this was my first encounter with a stalker and I had no idea how to handle the situation. I tried reasoning, I told her to leave me alone, and I said that I don’t want her around me. But unfortunately this was all to no avail.
That was when she started showing up at my work. She would talk to my coworkers and boss and tell them that she was my fiancé. Once I found out about this I told her to cut it out and leave me alone. Something in her head finally snapped and she started getting mad at me. She left me threatening phone calls and notes on the door to my apartment building. Then, she showed up at my work (thankfully it was my day off) and started raving at my manager. She told him to bring me out of the back and that she knew I was hiding back there. My manager tried to calm her down and make her leave the store, but she was having none of it. She pulled out a knife and threatened my manager who then called the police and had her taken away.
Of course, coming back to work, everyone was talking about me and my manager wanted to know what exactly was going on. I explained the situation and he promised to keep her out of the store. But luckily for me everything was over. She never called or showed up again.
Two years later I had a job at the air port where I had to pass through security every day. Guess who was the security guard on duty? Karren. Thankfully she pretended to not know who I was despite her accusations of suspicious behaviour that got me searched every day. I spent 30 mins of each morning with all my possessions strewn on a back room security table because of that girl. What a world…

Weirdness from a friend

So I met a girl over the past week that is starting to stack up against my list of S's. I attended a birthday party for a friend Kat that I had gotten with in the past. She was always a advocate of casual sex and I certianly wasn't going to argue. But I'm shifting into looking for a relationship so I cut the random encounters out. She became more distant but we were still friends so I got an invited to her party.
I showed up and took it easy on the drink while watching everyone get more and more enebriated. As conversation continued and everyone asked eachother how they knew Kat we came to the dawning realization that she had quite litterally slept with everyone in the room. Granted it was a small gathering, about eight people, but I was shocked. No so much at the fact that she had slept withe every single person in the room, even the girls, but at the fact that she had dated none of them. Doesn't this girl ever date?
Anyway after being throughly weirded out and watching multiple guys try and maul my friend I was gearing up to leave. But then I got introduced to her best friend Ren. The only person in the room that hadent slept with Kat. She is smart single and sexy so I sat around talking with her for the rest of the night. We really hit it off and wound up in eachother's arms on the couch, where now due to the change in my plans I planned to crash. That was when things started to get a little bit odd.
Kat had taken the host of the party to his bedroom and was screwing him senseless at the top of her voice while me and Ren tryed to hold up a conversation over the racket. Once she completed her nocturnal encounter she proceeded to come out into the living room and just sit and stare at me and Ren. She wouldn't go away dispite both of our atempts to send her back into the bedroom. She started breaking down and crying and wouldn't explain to us what was wrong. She then demanded to be driven home by Ren, to which Ren couldnt argue being her best friend and all. We traded numbers and called it a night.
Now I am not stupid. I realize that Kat must have some kind of weird feelings for me to freak out at me being with her friend. But I found the way she handled the situation very strange... I just suppose I'll never understand women. But at any rate I managed to score a date with Ren and we are going out this weekend. Hopefuly Kat stays home.

Pork on the First Date

I have another notch to add to my dating mishap champion belt;

Last week my friends set me up on a blind date, they promised she was a beautiful and intelligent gal. After much convincing and elaborate descriptions I finally relented and agreed to make the date. I called her up via the # given to me, and had a quick awkward conversation with a lady who we shall call Jane. Jane, sounded pleasant on the phone and seemed to be as just nervous as me about the prospect of a blind date. Also, unfortunately, I was strapped for funds and couldn’t afford to take her out, so I suggested that I cook us a nice meal. She offered to bring a bottle of wine for our enjoyment.
After scavenging in my fridge, all I could pull together were a pack of pork chops, some potatoes and broccoli. So I spent the 30 mins before she was to arrive preparing dinner, thinking rather highly of my domestic skills. Jane arrived, in person she was as beautiful as was described. I was pleased. Now, the door to my apartment enters directly into my kitchen, so of course the first question out of her mouth was, “what’s cooking?”
“I’m making pork chops, smashed potatoes, and broccoli.” I replied with a prideful grin.
She gave me a funny look and seemed disappointed. Then said, “I don’t eat pork chops.”
“Why? Don’t you like pork?”
“No, I don’t eat it because of my religion.”
“Ooooh… Sorry, I didn’t realize!” I said franticly trying to figure out how to stave off disaster.
Jane cocked her head and gave me a funny look saying, “You shouldn’t eat pork either.”
Rather suprised at her statement I replied, “But I don’t believe in what you believe in.”
Then to my shock and awe she said something I have never actually heard other than in jest.
“That’s because you’re a heathen.”
A heathen! She actually called me "a heathen!" I could not believe it. Folks, I am not a fan of organized religion. I am tolerant of it as long as you aren’t shoving it down my throat, but I don’t subscribe to any brand of it. So in complete shock my automatic response was, “Well you’re an ignorant bitch.”
To which Jane turned and left the apartment. Luckily she left the bottle of wine behind, because I really needed a drink after that encounter.Luckly she had good taste in wine and my pork chops were amazing!

All in all it was about a 3 min date that ended with us exchanging verbal blows. I will just have to always remember, never cook pork on a blind date!!!